last blog for 2008

Happy New Year!

New sa akin sa Year 2009

1.Civil Status( Married)
2.surname( Pascual)
3.most of all Im gonna be a mom!

next year will be one of the greatest and the most challenging year of my life syempre nga magiging mommy nko weh^_^

wish ko makahanap ng magandang work sa 2009
ma balance ko ang pagiging mommy,wife and work
wala sana me mapabayaan sa kanila

wish ko rin sa 2009 na makatulong na ako sa parents ko sa pag study ng mga gwapo kong kapatid kahit may family na ako^_^

wish ko din sa amin ng husband ko,sa family ko, family ng husband ko na good health forever,peace,love,prosperity,happines!

how hard and painful is it?

i am now 35 weeks pregnant I no longer worried about my parents who cannot accept my pregnancy
kasi ngayon tanggap na nila ^_^ galing ng prayer thanks kay Lord.....

ganu kaya kahirap ang labor and panganganak?
magiging magaling kaya ako na mom sa anak ko?
wala akong idea sa pag aalaga ng new born baby...
hindi ko nga alam kung mahahawakan ko sya....
kasi pag nakikita ko yng mga new born parang super delicate nila...

ano kya mas mahirap yung initiation ko sa sorrority o yung panganganak?
sana totoo yung painless na panganganak....

pero gaya nga ng sinabi ko before initiation..KUNG KAYA NILA KAYA KO DIN!
lalo na bigay pa ito ni Lord sa amin...hindi naman nya ito ibibigay sa akin kung hindi ko kaya....db?
ako na ang pnaka masayang mommy sa mundo kapag na ilabas ko sya ng healthy...normal...kompleto ang mga daliri basta ok na ok sya
worth it lahat kahit pa mahirap basta maging healthy sya^_^

i tried to be a live but they keep on killing me inside.................i am sorry

yeah can someone tell us what is the secret of a happy life?????
my family and I is still searching for it...
my parents raised me and did their best to get me into college
and now i graduated but i still couldn't help them because i got pregnant
i knew my responsibilities to them
since i was a kid all my dreams revolves around them
i wanted to make my parents proud of me
i want to help my brother to pursue their studies
that's why i studied hard to have a good grades so that they will not regret getting me into college
after school i help them in their business
i tried to be a good daughter to them as i can...
my life is programmed
for my family
then i fell in love
got pregnant.. not in my plan

i just realized that God has its own plan for my life
so i leave it all to Him because my life is in His hands not just mine but also the life of my family....

i cant make them happy but I am sure God can ....



i asked my parents to wait for a few months
but then everyday, if not everyday of that whole week
the every other day of another week they will always tell me that they regret that they gave so much trust on me and believed in me
they said that they thought I am their ALAS or their LUCK ... i also thought that...
but i just realized too that i am not
i said sorry to them
but they just cant accept it

it was like ...
i feel like they wanted me to see suffer for what i have done that their is no forgiveness.....
but i have my baby in my womb i tried so much not to be affected because i know it will also be bad for my baby
but everyday.. every time ...
may parents are different.... i loved them
but now ... i just realized
that all the good things that they did for me is just for their own sake........

I am still praying hard for all of us because i love them all so much ..God knows.......

i am now 18 weeks pregnant^_^

my tummy is getting bigger and i am getting more worried thingking what will be the reaction of my parents when they know about this.... i am happy but i cannot show it some people might not understand....i may not want it now but want it.. because God knows we are already ready for it .... this is a blessing in our relationship this is the fruit of our love .......^_^

i am so thankful kay God dhil kay wilmer he is so supportive kahit mnsan nag papakita me ng kahinaan ko heheheh.. God knows he will be the best fatrher for our childrensssssssss! hehehehe plurals madami daw kasi

out of the line.......

i don't know how to say this to myself....raquel you're gonna be a mom!.....whew! its like im happy but not prepared????????? every morning pag gising ko nararamdaman ko talaga na may nabubuoong tao sa tyan ko....

hindi talaga natin alam kung san tayo dadalhin ng life........kahit pa naka plano na ang lahat si Lord ang masusunod..
pero masaya ako at masaya ang mahal ko at mahal ko sya ang problema lang ang mga tao sa paligid ko sa kanya kasi walang prob sken meron eh......hindi nila maiintindihan alam kong mag jjudge sila kaagad....

never dare me....coz i will never do it.......siao

I'm on my way to our dorm when suddenly i saw this Internet cafe that i have been looking for since last Sunday night, so i decided to come and blog what had happened to me today, why does Nora scares me about my evaluation report?? does she think my life depends on that fucking evaluation??????????why she always mention that to me?? i never liked her and i know she also don't like me but i worked with her as a professional even though i don't really like her or any of them!!!!!people might think there is something wrong with me because i don't get well with them.... but i am a kind of a person that if somebody do good things to me i will do ten times more to them... OK fine there maybe something wrong with me but i know they made me like that....
this training sucks! i tried to enjoy it but i did not?? i thought this training would boost my self confidence because wow I'm one of the few who is chosen to be here and have international training! but instead it lowers my self esteem sometimes i fell like they treat me like their maid though????? i did not study for 4 years just to be like that! i hate it when they act smart and they know everything when i make mistakes.... i am not working with normal people i hope time will run much faster because i cant stand them anymore......

i don't want to leave my boyfriend here but i am not happy with what i am doing here.......

God please.....

yesterday is history...tomorrow is future and today is a gift that's why its called present^_^

hindi na ako makapag hintay umuwi

inaamin ko sa 100% ang reason ng pag punta ko dito eh 90% sa b.f ko at 10% sa career churva !hihihihihi ay landi ayan tuloy kinarma huhuhuhu gusto ko na umuwi!

i can't wait to go home.....

napapagod n ako sa training ko
na stress ko sa daily target ko
naiinis ako sa mga ka work ko,
naiinis ako sa mga maarte n customer
naiinis ako sa mga ka dorm ko
gusto ko ng umuwi.........
may mali sa akin pero hndi ko alam
mainit ang ulo ko
pagod ako.........
may mabuti kaya na maidulot itong training ko?
ang tagal matapos ng 6 months
pero pg iniisip ko b.f ko ayaw ko pa umuwi..
ano ba tlaga??basta uuwi kami...
ang hirap kumita ng pera
makakahanap kaya ako ng maayos na trabaho sa pinas?
ano kaya ang mangyayari sa akin pg balik?
makakatulong ba ako s magulang ko o burden pa rin ako?
ayaw ko ng mag pa apekto sa paligid ko..temporary lang 'to
matataps rin...
kung ganito kahirap mag trabaho dito,ganito din kaya kahirap sa pinas mag trabaho?
palagay ko hindi ng hirap pakisamahan ng ibang lahi,ibang iba sila....
ang dami kong iniisip kaya kahit off ko pagod pa rin ako...

full.............empty.....inadequate

confessions sa midterm exam.....^_^

nag karun ako ng leakage sa law 4 at taxation 2..... um tapos before ako mag exam ng law gusto ibigay sken ni roel yung leakage sa mgt scie hintayin ko daw sya..eh nakipag kwentuhan ako kay mam cbalsa kaya akala siguro nun kanina naka uwi na ako....

um kanina habang nag eexam kami sa strategic management pinakopya ko si rosalie pero pinkopya rin nya nag kalat tuloy yung sagot ko sa number 1 kay hindi ko natuloy sya pinakopya pa hehehhehe^_^

KLSP

i went to school today to return the book which i borrowed yerterday kasi ang penalty ng book P30.00 ang mahal di ba? eh dun sa bagong daan na alam ko papuntang school 20.00 lang pamasahe kya pumnta nalng ako ng school at least marami pa akong book na pwede pag pilian na mas useful sa report mko at baka naisauli na yung book ni david fred hehehee......um pero hindi ganun nang yari wala pa rin dun ang book at tinignan ko kung sino ang nang hiram um nag mamasteral pala ang nag wwork sa university bank huhuuhuh!

kaya dun nang ako nag basa ng kaunti pero walang pumapasok sa utak ko tapos ginutom pa ako pero nag lunch namn ako ng heavy pero lately nagiging gutumin talaga ako...um kinumpute ko kung mag kanu gagastusin ko pag nag meryienda ako dun at nag merienda ako sa bahay mas malaki pag sa school ako mag merienda tapos mag isa lang ako, eh kung sa bahay mas mura merienda lahat pa kami kaya umuwi nalng ako..

nag pa cute ako sa security sa school kasi hindi ako naka uniform pero naka college tshirt namn ako humingi nalng ako ng visitors pass and nag iwan ng ID pag uwi ko naka limutan ko i claim ang ID ko!naalala ko nalng nasa sasakyan na ako

kanina nung pauwi nakasalubong si storm dating brod dahil ako ay nag balik loob na sa katinuan hehehehehe, close kami nun ni roland nung active pa ako kaya namamansin pa pero yung iba hindi na talaga kagaya ni sis chie anyway hindi ko na sila sis and brod heheehhee niyaya ako ni roland sa frat house sabi ko next time nalng kasi mag aaral pa ako ^_^

dumaan ako sa simbahan ngayon pero dun na ako sa chapel nag pray para makapag concentrate me ng todo hehehehe^_^

kailangan maging maganda ang report ko sa monday para mapansin din ako ni mam yung pansin na hindi masama yung pansin na magaling hehehehehe^_^ kasi si darly nalng lagi pinapansin ni mam eh^_^

hhmmmm,,, first step to my dreams

i hope this week or may be next week may update nko sa pag alis ko heeheee.....singapore here i come