dead end....and God is the only way we know

this will be our way to everthing1

christmas rush...

i went shopping with my mom and ate rosa today todo bihis ako kasi nga gusto ko sa mall or sa pavillion man lang ako mamili but they both want na sa market nalang kya ayun dun nalng kami pumunta,

sabi ni mama sken nung umaga gift ko daw blouse kahit daw sa ukay ukay hheehhe ang balak ko sa pav ko sila lahat bilhan ng gift kahit na 1K lang datung ko kahit mga small items lang ba? eh nandun kasi kami kya ayun nag hanap kaagd ng ukay ukay si mama heheh pero pag nagka money me ulit before new year bilhan ko sila ni papa ng bago^_^

i also bought a pair of pants for myself dun sa suki ni mama pero balak ko ibalik kasi masyadong low waist kita na ang pwet ko....pati scrabble bumili din ako gusto ni gagay raketa pero hindi ko namn gusto yung mga outdoor game tska mas mura hehehehe....

namalengke kami ng ulam tapos nung bumibili kami ng tilapia may bata nag titinda ng petchay hehehehe cute nung bata galing din ng marketing strategy nung mga magulang nun noh heheheh lam nang marami na ang pasko para sa mga bata kung cute na bata nga naman mag titinda kahit hindi kailangan yung petchay (tulad ko) eh bibili heheheheh.......

nag tatanong b.f ko kung bakit daw ako nagalit .....eh feeling ko binabalewala nya ako? hmft ayaw ko sabihin sasabihin nanaman nun mababaw>: c

spread ur wings and fly...butterfly...

i went to school today though i know have no class coz i already know yesterday that our prof in Law 4 is out of town, i have to get a money to pay for the printing of shirts which i haven't paid yet urgh that shirt is really giving me a hard time :( thats my problem now huuhuh i am making A business but no profit..... im too kind for this!anyway we learn from our mistakes...right? i hope i already did coz this wasn't the first time that i got no profit duh! anyway it wasn't that bad at all it also helped me and my family with that shirt.

..my sweatheart will be leaving singapore today he'll be going to italy wow! hehehe he is really sosyal:) na i hope i could go there too, that is one of my dream destination to be, anyway im happy for my future hubby hehehehhe :) :P no objections! im proud of him! my God will continue to bless our love....Amen

i hope my family and i will get through this problem again i am now wishing for the time that we will no longer have problem with money and all.... peace of mind is really hard to find huh? hayyy... i cant wait for the time that i can say this word to my parents"ma' pa' hindi na ninyo pa kailangan mag trabaho" hayyyy thats my wish to make them both happy and they can sleep with no worries for tomorrow when they will going to get my tuition,allowance,our food...God help this two good people that you gave to take care of me.....

hindrances is making me wanting you more!

i just got my nbi today i prayed so hard when i was waitng it hoping that i dont have the same name, i also enrolled today but i havent paid yet, tomorrow will be our medical examination hoping everthing will be just fine, i am no longer about my passport si lord na ang bahala wala na akjong magawa eh:) godbless us!

November NO MORE MONTHSARIES!

hindi ko maiisip na nakalimutan nya ang monthsari namin galit ako sumisikip dibdib ko kasi kung nakakalimutan nya ang mga ganun kaliit na bagy panu pa kaya ako???????? kya simual nagyon wla ng ganun...PERIOD!

surrender everything to God!

I was about to loose hope today because this is the day that we should submit our requirements for OJT in singapore and i havent even have my NBI clearance i took the letter of the agency from the bible i inserted it their asking for Gods guidance, but i am ashamed that i lost my faith just like that :(, Riza texted me and said that ate luisa advised us to call the agency and tell them the status of our passport it took me a lot of time before i send my text message before that i was trying to call the agency but their line was unavaliable thats when i decided just to text them even if it is quite unformal no choice because i got no enough money to call them, before i opened their reply i really prayed for a good response and God did not failed me they said that we can submit our requirements on nov.12 THANKS TO GOD:)

is it already sem break????????

this month of october was very toxic for me, last oct 4 i had my interview for my ojt in singapore luckily i passed the first interview but we have no employer yet, but they are already requiring us to process our passport not later that oct 31,we had our defense yesterday me and my groupmates think we did great we hope the panel think so too, because we are aiming to get the best in feasibility study so that i can put something in my resume as an achivement in college, of course we also had our final exam this month, today i did not went to nbi because i do not have money for the processing and i helped my mom finishing ang packaging her deliveries, i slept after i helped my mom i dream of a travelling bag i hope i could really go to singapore to help my parents and to support my brother next year with thier schooling and ofcourse to see my beloved boyfriend hihihihihih oohhh! i almost forgot i also attended a 4 days seminar a leadership traning seminar in calaca batngas! the seminar was really stressing and tiring but we had alot of fun:)..........wait for me singapore here i come heheheheheheeh!

i beggining to loose my patience

im blogging here in the librarry they said that e-mail,chatting,friendster,typing are prohibited but hey did not say blogging is not allowed hheheheeh,
yesterday mam cabalsa asked usto join the ojt in singapore and i will heheeeheheh.....

freedom from stress

we had our picture taking today for the graduation i did not prepared that much for the picture taking i hope i will not look stress on our year book pic but some said its not yet for the yearbook pic its only for the alumni card i hope that was true :)

i am not feeling well today i ahave a running nose it gives me headache urgh! and fever...my mom asked me if she can borrow the money that my bf wil sent to me for the sewing machine because mam rose borrowed her money so she cannot buy the materials for the smock gown which we will supposed to deliver this friday...but i know wilmer will not yet remit the money this week he is waiting for me to open first a bank account:( kya ayun sana makabayad bukas si mam rose kahit half kasi partial palang naman ang hinihingi kay mama para walang prob

i saw my grades yesteraday hehhehh my grades went down .2 from 87.5 to 87.3 i have to study hard this final but im feeling lazy i have to have a grade of 90 or at least 89... God help me:)

when dreams come true.....

we will have our year book picture taking tomorrow im worried that my pics will look bad like my other yearbook pics when i was in elementary and high school i hope this time the shoot will be good and can make me look beautiful though im not that ugly im not just a photogenic :(

i hope my mom can give me tonight a money for my new phone i hope i could buy one that is really nice and yet cheap :)

my boyfriend asked me to put up our business we decided to buy a sewing machine and rent it to sewers who do not have a sewing machine i hope our business will be sucessful and we can make or put up another business that is really profit generating:)

money..money..money..what a problem

this whole week was very stressing for me, nakuha ko ang contract ng college t-shirt ng college of business.. ang aarte pa naman ng mga taga business kaya ayun bago na distribute ang shirt mga 3 nights siguro ako hindi nakatulog grrr until now they are still stressing me out some of them are not yet paid so i still dont know if i have gain profit from that damn shirt! i hope next week all of them will pay....si jack na naunang nag bayad wala pa rin shirt kasi sa iba binigay ni thesa yung shirt na para jack..bibili pa ako nun pati yung kay jong tsk kainis talga!

today we have watched the variety show prepared by the faculties of different department its kinda nice though but watching those old people dance is really funny and quite hilarious it ended at 40'clock i came here after rosalie and i departed

i am now chatting with love of my life :)(wilmer) hihihih i miss him so much....

wala akong academic achivements....so what?!

wala man lang akong academic ahivements kanina habang nag ttype kami salib ng application form for graduation blangko yung part na yun sana maging best in feasib nalng kami para kahit panu i did something nice in college, wala man lang akong maipag malaki nu ba yun hmft!anyway importante ba talga yun kaya nga sa seminar nalng ako bumabawi eh,

hindi kami nag klase sa survlit ngayon nag pa saetwork lang sya at nag distribute ng test paper grrrr 73 lang ako, essay yun bakit may zero dun! diba pag essay opinion na rin?????? bakit may malaiking ekis dun sa exam ko yun gusto ko sana itanong sa prof ko, nakakainis na ang bumungad sa akin na exam eh bagsak, nu ba tlaga ang pag aaral pana panahon ba yan,is it base on luck, in born or base on your perseverance and work hard for you to attain your aim grade?? sometimes i study hard and yet i still got a low grade im not really born to be a smart person i am just trying hard.....

today is 09-08-07 birthday of mama mary melanie and I will vist the manaog and i will make a wish to her, kasi si mama may bukol sa dibdib sa abndang itaas:(
san gumaling na ang mama ko at mag tuloy tuloy yung gawa naminpara hindi na kami magutom:) ehehehehhe minsan pag walang gawa tiis talag akmi s ahindi masarap na food eh

niyaya nga pla ako ng pare ko na mag business kami ayun gusto ko sana sabihin sa kanya na mag invest sa amin aksi kulng kami sa puhuna pero nahihiya lang ako hehhehe
sana yung tshirt ko maganda yung pag kaka print magustuhan nial para namn walang prob at smooth ang lahat.

i am now a graduating student...i wish

last tuesday my classmate told me to get an application form for the graduation at the deans office i told her that i think the office was already close, but when she left i went to the deans office myself just trying if the office i still open and luckily it was so took an application form and read it immediately i notice that one of the requirements is the transcript of records grrr i havent get it from my previous school because i still have a balance thier of 9 thousand, hhmmmmmm,,,,, thats why am not still submitting the form because i am worrid that they might notice that i still havent got my TRO, but today i also got the yearbook form, kuya alex and i were talking about achivement because i dont have one? ......do you think that is really necessary for me to get a descent and good a job?

2 and 8 months

monthsarry namin ni wilmer ngayon hindi man lang nya naalala! pusta ko hindi! bwisit pakasal na sya sa trabaho nya, tapos ddramahan pa ako na hind daw mahirap yung gingawa nya excuse ba yun???! bakt kaya ako nadadalian sa amin! nakakainis tlaga hindi ko sya kakausapin ngayon pag nag aaway kami ako nalng lagi ang mali hindi nko naging tama sa kanya napapabaliktad nya ang mga pangyayari! at ito pa ako pa ang nag sorry! ang isa pang kinakasam ng loob ko hindi man lang nag text kagabi! at hindi din nag log in halatng aywa pa istorbo pusta ko kung may cahnce na papapipiliin sya between his work and me work nya pipiliin nya! hindi ko namn sinasabi na wag nya intindihin yung work nya pero alm mo yun tlagang nakakapag selos kasi super duper focus sya sa mga ganung tao dapat hindi na nag gf! kasi ang relationshi[p kailangan ng TIME!!!!!!!! db! siguro sa mga priority nya sa buhay ako ang pinaka huli...huling huli sa pinaka huli......haaayyyy bakit kya sya ganun parang manhid! hindi ko ma paliwanagan kasi mas nanalo sya dun kya ako ang lumalabas na parating mali s aamin dalawa at ako namn itong si tanga ok lang ng ok

hesitating

do you really love me?

if you do please tell me

please make me feel

thousands words i must tell

but preffered to be unsaid

hesitating, doubth, worry, anxoius i feel

our foundation is not that strong

your miles away from me

how could you leave me here

no assurace, just your word, aint enough

im not good with words it must be better left unsaid

your hurting me...deeply... i dont know why or how

but thats what i feel.....

if you dont love me, please let me know...

i must know....i should

exhausted

this past 2 weeks is really stressing for me eventhough we had a long vacation in school because of the typhoons, i had to finish sewing the hairnet and facemask because we badly needed a money:( thats why last tuesday im really stressed i felt my whole body is aching especially the lower part of my body urgh! the bridge near our school is under construction thats why even if my feet are aching i had to walk a few miles and its really hard to get a jeep last tuesday i came home quite late and luckly my lil brother massage my feet,

yesteray i thought we will report on operations management luckily it is postponed because are run out of time thats why just discussed the case study thyat we had yesterday in prodman dr ambas really stressd me out grrrrr!

i'm back

i did not blog here for quite a long time my reason is this, i posted my blog account here in friendster i am not aware that friendster will e-mail it to some of my friends, and one of those who received that e-mail is my boyfriend we chatted that night after the class he told me that there is wrong with my grammar grrrr my first reaction is that i got mad at him but im not supposed to because it was my fault and he is just concern i almost cried at that moment because of embarrasement i told my self that i wont blog here anymore but i cannot resist it besides i just knew about draft that my blog wil be private and cannot be viewed by other people? i guess?? anway i really want to post blogs for me to practice my grammar for me to be able to be excellent in english no matter what! period hehhe

i am worried about tomorrow

the art of cheating

Confession: kanina sa fundkey nag prelim exam kami, if we are not cheating that would be very difficult especially the test 3 because i dont know the fingers typing position good thing there is that our professor is quite stupid heheheeheh i got 92 in fundkey i let my classmate copy my answers in test 1 and he answered my test 3 he took my paper and he wrote the anwers on it heheheh garapal db? anyway basta nka 92 ako and thats all that matters bawahahahaha!

i got 92 in production management huh! but my exam grade is only 82 grrr parang ayaw ko maniwala na nka 92 pa ako dun baka niloloko lang ako ni sir huh! mas maddisappoint ako nun next time didibdibin ko talaga ang case na yun, pero nag report kasi ako kaya siguro ganun grade ko anyway sana totoo nalang yun.

compliments......

i am bothered with how my prof in marketing management complimented me yesterday... she said i got the highest score in our quiz last friday huh! that shes thankful that someone understand her....she told that to me while we are having our exam in marketing after she said that i felt that my head got heavy and i cannot concentrate anymore......

i experienced mixed emotions i felt happy because i got the highest score and embarrassed coz my classmates will tease me again for being such a geek at karerista!.... and i also do not expect that i can receive such compliment came from a terror professor....

um la lang sobra lng me happy kasi terror proof sinabihan ka ng ganun:) anyway i wish i hope and i pray na hanggang sa maka graduate ako eh matataas grades ko para yun nalng proof ko kina mama:)

80's 90's

kabilang ka ba sa mga huling taon ng dekada '80 at unang taon ng '90?

kilala mo sina sharider, bioman at masked rider black?

alam mo ang jingle ng nano-nano?

nag laro ka ba ng 10-20?

alam mo ang universal song na "uwian na"?

nag sayaw ka ba ng macarena at boombastic?

alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng time first?

alam mo na importante ang 'period no erase!'

nilagyan mo ng pritos ring bawat daliri mo?

meron kang pencil case na marami pindutan?

kilala mo sina remy, cedie, princess sarah?

nakakamiss noh?

madz sent this to me last last week pa while reviewing in marketing i told my self that i will post this after my quiz in marketing but i just remember it now kaya yan nakakamiss talaga hehehe!

pray in silence

um i did not attend the mass today um bukod sa tinamad ako umulan pa kaya mas tinamad ako tsaka hindi ako makapag pray ng taimtim:) pag maraming tao tom maaga kami pauuwiin sikapin ko punta church ng binan :)

tomorrow i have an advance exam in FUNDKEY and quiz in MARKETING MANAGEMENT sana pareho makakuha ako ng mataas sana hindi na ako makakuha ng palakol hanggang sa mka graduate ako huhuhuh ayaw ko na kasi nun eh...um wala nan nga ako achievemnt tapos mag karoon pa ako line of seven huhuh wag naman...

exam na namin this week sana matatas makuha ko hehehehe,,,,

donut day! CONFESSION

confession: kanina sa literature nag quiz kami yung katabi ko dapat 1 points alng nakuha nya pina doctor nya sa akin ang sagut nya dinoctor ko namn heheheh ewan mahirap na mag karun ng kaaway heheheh mali ba yun? malamang! pero kung ikaw nsa kalagayan ko nu gagawin mo?

tinreat kami ni ate anna rose sa SM napaka generous nya hehhehe naalala ko bf ko kasi generous din yun, at parati nag sasabi ng i love you si Ate at sabi nya sa amin next week after the prelim punta daw kami sa house nya videoke daw kami payag naman kami hehehheh kaya next week after the exam we will go to her house we cannot resist her shes sweet eh,

the 9th of july

my head is aching >:(

interesting ang topic namin kanina sa CND the Contempoary Development Program grr the evaluator doest want my sociology to be credited kaya parang i took my sociology subj twice the description is not the same but the lesson is just the same kaya ayun heheh um anyway sabi ko nga interesting topic namin its about marriage, MARRIAGE - is an inviolable social instituion heheheh kanina sa quiz hindi ganun ang description ko um binding of opposite sex ang sabi ko at a legal age heheeh at least mejo tama hehehhe kesa namn kay adonis na he said on his essy which our proffesor read to us that adonis said that marriage is a magical jorney all of our classmates laugh sabi ni mam yun lang daw tingin nya sa marriage just a magical jorney! heheheh pakialamera prof ko eh kanya kanyang opinion yan heheheh palibhasa separated sya heheeh...

um kanina our prof discussed to us what are the incestuous marriage void at the beggining um yung classmate ko tinamaan kasi he is planning to marry her 1st cousin his a half japanese and filipino but he is a filipino citizen thats why our prof said that he should abide the law kasi syang daw ang effort kunsabagay, he is concern abou the normality of his future kid kung maging abnormal daw ba kasi mag kadugo nga sila hehehe sa psychology namin nun our prof said na may high chance ng abnormality yung baby na came from same blood?

haaay im waitng for my cousin and wilmer hindi naman sila nag online, mag out nku hhuhuhuh

all i can say is i miss you

I remembered the day I was with youYou made me feel like a matured girlYou taught me right from wrongYou showed the way to be like youI was hoping that I woudn't lose youBut the time has comeI should go far away and live in my dreamsBut its hard to say goodbyeFrom all the laughter you gaveFrom all I felt of youAll I can say is I Miss YouNow that we are far awayMemories' still in my mindHow can I live without you…But I still wait for the right timeThe time to be happy being with youThat's what I've been waiting for…

confession...

hhhmmmm i went to church before ako nag online hhhhmmm..before i went here while taking a bath im thinking of not going to church isip ko next sunday nalng kasi sakit ng ulo ko kayalang nag promise kasi ako hehehe nakonsensya me kaya nag simba nalang ako hehehhe...

kaninang umaga aga pumunta ni sir donald sa bahay may mga pinapa ayos sya sabi ni rene may prayer meeting daw akala ko joke lang hheheeh kasi madalas sila mag poker dun sa garment at may yosi tambayan nila hehehee ang bahay/stock rum/opis/garment ay / poker house na rin heheheeh ayun nag prayer meeting nga at dami food heeheh pero hindi kami nag join kasi sagrado katoliko kami hehehe kumain lang me pizza before me pumnta ng church kasi late nko sa date namin ni Lord heheh sa gitna ako pumwesto sa simbahan heheh kasi um wala lang ayaw ko ng may katabi heheeheh basta...

nga pala nag election na kami nakausap ko kahapon si thesa sabi nya ang managerial ang may pinaka walang kwentang officer bakit daw wala ako eh malay ko ba na ganun heheh uu nga nakakahinayang last year ko pa namn heheheh sa ibang extra curicular activities nalng ako babawi...

may confession nga pala ako hehehhe kahapon nag quiz kami sa tax um surprise kaya hindi nakpag aral ang gulo kasi ni mam mag bigay ng instruction hmmmppt hindi ka nalangyan kung citizen resident non resident o alien resident non resident wala lang alien at citezin sagot ko dapt mali na yun ewan ko dun sa nag check ng papel ko tinamaan pa rin nya heheh pinabayan ko na kesa namn sa 2pts lang tama ko ehehheeh....

mga pamahiin ni raquel

pag bumili ka ng ballpen o lapis at naging 100 ka sa quiz,exercises,exam wag mo papalitan hanggat hindi nauubos sswertehen ka sa ulit hanggat may tinta pa iyon....

sa pag papagupit dapat ay full moon maswerte un first week ng month hanggang 3p.m pag lumagpas sa oras na yun hindi na maswerte...

wag mag papapicture kayo lang mag kasama ng iyong bf/gf mag kakahiwalay kayo....

huwag mag wawalis palabas pagitna dapat para dun lang ng swerte......

par pipirma sa attendance make sure hindi ikaw ang pang number 13 makipag unahan ka kung kailangan....:)

its our 30th monthsarry!

you know i love you i really really do :) hehehe tumatak na sa utak ko ang song na iyon sa comment sken ni pare sa friendster, hhhhhmmm kala ko makaka usap ko sya ngayon sayang hindi sya nag online:(

hhhhmmmmm sobrang nakakamiss tlaga sya hhaaaaaayyy! pumunta me ngayon ng pavillion bumili me ng book sa typing.

nakalimutan ko mag simba na break ko ang aking promis!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how to escape:)

nag attend ako ng acquaitance kahapon hhhhmm hindi dapt ako aattend sabi ko til 9p.m me sa work para mabawan trabaho ko eh nag text si melay sagot daw ni marlon ang food hala heheheeh eh madali akong kausap yes ako kaagad makarinig lang ng food hehehehe i went home 30 mins after bossing leave heheh para kunwari sipag sipagan ako heheheh pero nag aapply ako for call center hhhhhmmm tinatanong ako ni mama kung makakaya ko daw ba yun sabi ko pag namatay ako yun hindi ko kaya :) heheheh hhmmm balik tayo sa acquaitance! busit! hirapan ako sa spelling na ito! ayon nga usapan namin 6 pm tapos 7pm nko dumating as usual alam kong galit sila kaya malayo palng eh nilabas ko na ang aking mga white teeth and ngiti hanggang tenga at sabing its fashion to be late heheheheheehehe nasa pilipinas tayo uso ang late heeheheheheheh!

masaya naman ang acquaitance,officer kasi ng student council si marlon yung mga food ng mga VIP yun binigay nya smen bukod dun dami namin food stamp kaya pa balik balik kami hehheeh tapos kahit hindi kami sumal;i sa games binigyan kami ng sim heheheeh mga pasaway! mejo nainis lang ako kay kate kagabi kasi pinigilan kami ng guard pumasok dun sa kabilang sid ng gym para kumain eh kakain lang man kami pero napilit din namin si manong pero nawalan na ng gana si kate siya pa namn yung yaya ng yaya na kumain kasi shes starving na raw tapos ganun lang tapos dinala ni melay yung food niya kasi balak niyang iwan lang yun doon duh! ang dami kayang nagugutom tapos sya itong binigyan ni Lord ng biyaya na makakain ng ganun iwan lang nya sa tabi na hindi nababawasan!! naartehan ako sa kanya sabi ko nga pag nagyaya ulit sila ng lakad at kasama si kate hindi ako sasama, tapos umuwi me ng 10P.M para maabutan ko ang JUMONG heheheh.

well ngayon ganun pa rin aga gising punta work huhuhuhuh isip ko nalng mga milyonaryo nga hindi nakakatulog sa dami ng yaman nila maswerte pa rin ako kahit bitin tulog at least naka tulog heheheh pero kainis pa rin hehehe kasi bukod sa kumain at umebs pag tulog ay isa sa pinaka masarap gawin!

nag case study kami ngayon ang hirap kya parang sa three question isa lang tama ko pero sana tama pa rin yung dalawa kanina nag tatawag ng names si Dr. for recitaion ehehehehe kun san san ako tumitingin para hindi matawag at kunwari may hinahanap heheheheh kasi hindi me confident sa mga answer ko heheheh:)

um bukas mag himala sana makapg apply ako ehhheh at matanggap!

im a fan of myself

i just edited my blog account and im happy with what i did, im about to sign out i still have a class i hope i could answer in the recitaion so i wont be disappointed this time eventhough i did not attend last week huhuhu i hiope i could stil pass this subjeect gtg

si fefe fumunta ng falengke nasagasaan ng fison fatay!:)

this first semester my first impression with my professors in all my subjects are really good i hope my first impression to them will last:) but theres one thing that i notice with some of my professor , they are mispronouncing f from p like filiffines where it should be philippines im not really good in english but at least i can pronounce it right right? heheehhe i hope they will not read this hehheheh but overall they are really good especially in my LAW3,MNGRL ECO,MRKTNG MGT

i think that from atty bejasa i can learn a lot from him because my first impression to him is that he is so strict so i will be forced to study before entering his class like in economics oh my before i forgot im thinking of dropping my two subjects which is managerial eco and marketing management well im still thinking of dropping it until monday because thats the last day of the add and dropping here in our school mrs cabalsa

is so strict but she is nice though i absent to her class yesterday because i got no money for my transportation even a cent yesterday was our first discussion i bet they already had a recitation i am so disappointed because i want to start my class in that two subjects right and i don't want to be left behind in our discussion because i am afraid that in next meeting i will be just a stupid person there sitting don't even know what they are talking about but my friends told me that i can pass that subject they believe in me but i don't believe in my self huhuhuh....

anyway i will still drop that managerial Eco because in the first place i don't even have plan to take it this semester before i enrolled but it still depends on what God wants with me I'm worried that if it will happen again that i will have no money again to go to school i have no choice but to absent again and thats will be the reason i will flunked specially now that my family and i have a financial problem....


Oh before i forgot my uncle from the side of my father died last tuesday i think they are asking my father to come to the province but we dont have a money i hope God can make a miracle for us......

my uncles spirit flew in heaven he is with God now the beginning of eternal life i thought that from the book of purpose driven life by rick warren:)

why do we have to go through this??

yesterday i thought was just an ordinary boring day i washed our clothes but it got rained that's why i got so irritated i thought i could wash more clothes if the coloured clothes are already dry....

The co workers of my parents before visited them, i did not greet them i don't want to be a hypocrite like them because they are the reason why my parents got fired from their work...

i told my mom that ill go to church this will be my first mass in our new house and the good thing there is that the church is walking distance from our house i told my self before that if only our house will be near the church then there is no reason for me not to go to church every Sunday then my wish came true i guess i will be obliged to go to church every Sunday but its not really an obligation ill be glad and honored to visit God every Sunday....

then i went to church to keep my promise to Him

Then i went home after the mass i thought it was raining again I'm glad that it stopped after the mass,

when i got home i learned from my little brother that one of the customer of my mom which is the auntie of the boss of my parents scolded my mom and said sarcastic words to my mom when her dress did not fit so well with her shes so stupid! my mom already told her that is just for fitting she did not listen to my mom and she continued criticizing my mom as my brother told me!

then i got so mad really really mad my teeth are grinding because i don't ever wanna see my parents mistreated like that,

if only i did not went to church and if only i was there i will punch that bitch and told her that we can still eat three times a day even if she did not ask my mom to sew her uniform,

then i went inside the garment to ask my mom about it i saw her talking to one of the sewer then i asked here i saw her face and i saw her eyes that she just finished crying my heart are crushed after i saw here face i just gave her a hug my part time job is not enough for me to help them for them to stop working that hard its enough only for my allowance and projects and thesis...

i cannot sleep at that night I'm thinking of my parents i just prayed to God to give us straight to face this trials bravely in our life and passed it.........

this me
i am what i am
i am what i wrote
no secrets
this is me
at this time
I'm really a problematic specie
at this time
and soon all my problems
will passed away
like it did not came in my life
it will be just a
memory
a memory to be proud of
that i came through this
and had survived

so this is it?????

i woke up so early just to get my self to go to school and the fucking prof did not come errr now im so bored i dont really have friends here i dont know why it is so hard for me to make friends with them maybe because i just dont like myself and im pretending to be someone else i just cant stop pretending whenever im with other people im always an actress everyday whenever im with other people im tired of being an actress now id rather be ALONE and talking to myself ,

haaay i am now a senoir in colllege i think and i am worried that my subject will be very difficult this year huh! last year i used to get high gardes i hope it will still be good this year i dont want to dissappoint my parents they are sacrificing too much for me i wish i could repay them soon....... i am so sad whenever i see them working so hard and they cannot stop because we still need them....my boyfriend told me to be more positive and leave the rest to God Raquel stop worrying of the thigs that are not still happening! raquel! listen to me! THINK POSITIVE!

my friends asked me to treat them a lunch today because i didnot treat them last my 16 becasue it mah bday last month but i dont have a money should i tell them or not i hoipe my mom could lend me some money so i will not be embarresd with my friends,

saan ba nabibili ang peace of mind?????

last month me and my family had gone through a crisis i thought it was impossible for me to study this semester, i am so thankful that i have a very supportive parents who will do everything just to provide our needs, i am very lucky to have them and i thank God soooooo much un pla yun JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING TO GOD! for the past few weeks i became a bitter person maybe because of all the bad rumors that i heard about my parents that are absolutely untrue and had no basis if i could only talk to those idoit person err and tell them how numb and idoit they are, if all that i think will come true i may now be a serial killer, but my pare told me to look at things more in a positive way kya un ill try to be positive hehehe ang forget my hatred hehhe gtg